BALLAD OF THE THREE STOOGES
Words by Rob Clark
 
(Sung to the tune of the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song: 
music by Paul Henning.)

Come and listen to my story ‘bout a group of funny men
They’re goofy and they’re silly and they always make us grin.
With slapstick stunts and a bunch of funny sounds
They’re the sappiest dimwitted ignoramuses around.
Stooges, that is. Cabbageheads. Featherbrains.

Well, you know old Moe, he’s the leader of the three
He slaps ‘em and he boinks ‘em and he traps ‘em in a tree.
With a haircut like a soupbowl and a poke for every eye
He was talented at tweaking and he sure could throw a pie!
Dunce, that is. Knucklehead. Imbecile.

You can always find ol’ Larry, he’s the one with all the frizz
He was called "The Middle Stooge" and he was always in show biz
He was not a Howard brother and his name was Larry Fine
But The Stooges used a nickname when they called him "Porcupine."
Moron, that is. Skillethead. Possumpuss.

Well, let’s not forget ol’ Curly, he’s the favorite of the bunch
And because he was so stupid he received the hardest punch
With his silly Curly Shuffle he could show us how to dance
And we know he always ended up the "victim of coicumstance!"
Stooge, that is. Blubberhead. Halfwit.

Well, we can’t forget Shemp who was in it from the start
He went solo for a while but then returned to play his part
With his brothers Moe and Curly he could be a chucklehead
And make his fans hysterical with everything he said.
Stupe, that is. Muttonhead. Idiot.

So now it’s time to start the tape and watch a Stooges show
Let your mind become a simple one and let the laughter flow.
With a "woob woob woob" and "nyuk nyuk nyuk" they’ll entertain us all
As they fumble and they stumble and they slam into a wall!
Stooges, that is. Sawdustheads. Weaselbrains.